It seems every day we are moving farther apart as a nation. We can’t seem to find anything to unite us as a country. Long gone is that foundational idea E Pluribus Unum—out of many, one. It seems we’ve gotten it backwards—out of one, many. The only thing we seem to be able to unite with others on as individuals is our vitriol and hatred for another individual or group. Which makes me ask myself this question. Is civility dead or just dying?

What on earth is civility anyway? It is politeness. It’s common courtesy that’s not so common anymore. In short, it is giving attention to the wants and desires of others. But seriously, who has time to think of others. Thinking about myself takes up every waking hour. I mean, sometimes I even wake up at night to think about myself some more. There is simply no time to be concerned about what someone else is going through. I’d love to, but I feel the effort is better spent on me. Am I right?

As I tell my children, the only thing you have control over in any given situation is your action, reaction, and attitude. The only thing I can change is me. I’ve got to start there. You’ve got to start there. We have to be the people that we want others to be towards us. It boils down to the words of Jesus in Matthew 7:12, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” Did you catch that? Jesus said you could summarize most of the Old Testament in this one simple phrase—do unto others as you would have them do unto you. We used to call it the Golden Rule.

Let’s face it. That one simple action changes everything. What if I took up the challenge to treat every person, in every situation, the way I want to be treated? Me, as an individual. What if I taught my family, by my example, to treat others with dignity and respect? It’s something that needs to revive in our homes, our communities, and our nation.

So here’s a little something we came up with to focus our attention off of ourselves and onto others. I want to give you six things you can do to remind yourself to be that person. Not so everyone can look at you and see how wonderful you are. Do it simply to exercise control over the only thing you have any control over. Don’t expect anything from others in return. If you’re expecting praise and adoration from others, you’re missing the point. I’m going to make these action points applicable to the trail, but see if you don’t agree they apply to life, in general. Here goes!

Obey

The rules are there to make things enjoyable and safe for all people involved. We understand that. But I’m talking more about obeying the rules of common sense. Unfortunately, those rules aren’t as easily defined and enforced. It’s something that comes from being aware of your actions and their effect on those around you. Here’s a few ideas:
Notice when someone is waiting to take a picture without you in it. MOVE!
Notice when others are enjoying the solitude of nature. SHUT UP!
Notice when other hikers need to pass. MOVE OVER!

These generally come through personal experience and end up as a rule of what not to do. I’m sure if we think about it for a little while, we can come up with a pretty exhaustive list. So, until stupidity becomes a criminal offense, we’ll each have to be content with keeping our own self in check.

Think

This point is inspired by real life events. Randi and I were hiking in Utah and ran into this dude hiking in a Speedo. No lie, just a Speedo. Well, he did have a backpack. And maybe shoes. I’m not sure. The point is, did this guy give any thought to the consequences of his action to the mental health of those he would encounter that day? I think not. Not to mention, the effects on his own physical well-being. I hope he galled himself but good.

Help

The opportunities to aid our fellow man come often. All we really have to do is be aware of those around us and be willing to act when we see a need. The reward of knowing you were able to be a help to someone else is immediate and surprisingly satisfying.

Educate

This is not one of those things that you teach someone out of a textbook. Teach these lessons by the example you put forth. When others see you exhibiting these action points they are strangely compelled to emulate your actions. Whether out of desire to be a better person or simply out of guilt is irrelevant. They have been inspired to action. Mission accomplished!

Respect

Whether we’re talking about the environment or our fellow man, respect is in order. The Creator gave us stewardship of the planet we inhabit. Treat it with respect. We encounter other human beings on a daily basis, all of whom are created in the image of God. Treat them with respect.

Serve

Finding ways to serve isn’t hard. You just have to look around. Someone left trash behind… pick it up. A trail marker has fallen over…set it back up. Don’t wait to be asked, just do it. Don’t expect accolades, just do it. Open your eyes. Service opportunities are everywhere.

Did you see what I did there? Did you? I made one action point for each letter in the word OTHERS. There’s a name for that. Oh well, I just wanted to find a way to put some emphasis on others in my own life. Feel free to join me. Maybe we’ll start a movement or something. Or maybe we’ll just become better people in the process. It should at least make for a little more civility around the neighborhood and along the trail.

Be safe out there,

Mike